Good morning. On the 8:10AM into the City.
There is, and there really is no better way to say this, an angry black man on the train. Think Samuel L. Jackson in plaid pajamas, red sweater, graying goatee and is staring straight at the “Quiet Car” sign as he loudly declaims to his homeboy (his words) on the other side of the phone “Some mofo just touched my shoulder and getting, all up in my business!” and then proceeds to take another two minutes to end the conversation.
After he turns off his cell phone, he turns to the couple behind, that not five minutes earlier, tapped his shoulder and pointed him to the sign asking him to be quiet, and says “Don’t ever touch me or there’s gonna be some mofukn trouble.” He does this so that everyone within a three or four seat radius can hear him clearly.
The couple in question are our old and dear friends, Big Momma and Le Petit Moustache. For those of you unfamiliar with these dear people, Le Petit Moustache is true to his name, a mousey gentleman, 5′-1″ or so, wearing a far too big leather jacket over a brown sweater and black slacks. He is on his iCrackerDroid. Le Petit Moustache is the silent partner in the relationship.
Big Momma is a 4’9″, stocky, puffer fish looking north Indian woman, probably Delhi. Her very large eyes, covered by heavy lids, protrude from her skull unnaturally, as if they are ready to escape her body on their own accord. She is by far the dominant one in the relationship. It was she who tapped Samuel L on the shoulder.
OK. Now Samuel L is broadcasting his fly tunes off of the speakers on his mp3/smartphone player. He as acting as if the world is against him, yet he openly invites the fellow commuters around them to pay him heed. He is getting a lot of phone calls. Mostly from his wife. He has the confidence and ego to sustain the derisive looks from neighboring co-commuters. Evidently, he likes to buck the trend, or enjoys threatening people who cross him.
Also here are P.J O’Rourke, noted satirist, Santa Claus sitting up top (naturally), Nikolai Lenin, and Flo the Progressive Insurance lady.
Happy Thursday. I may have a special rapid transit edition if I need to make a meeting this morning. More silliness for you to glance over!