February 6, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago


Good evening. On the, similar but different, 3:55PM out of the City. It’s nice to see old friends. A good number of them are on the ride home with me. The NFI is three, surprisingly.

Let me start with a woman I am going to call the Healthy Barefoot Contessa. For you non foodie types, the Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten, is a late-forties kitchen-chef genius that lives, or spends a lot of time, in a gorgeous house in the Hamptons of Long Island, New York. She has (or had) a show on the Food Network, showing us rubes how to make garden fresh meals, pick out specialty cheeses, and make some, holy-God-she’s-a-lush!, mixed drinks for the summer. She was, and I presume to this day, electively overweight. BC’s BMI was OTC. Sir Mix-A-Lot would have been a fan of BC’s show.

The co-commuter has BC’s pretty, girl-next-door, face without the aggressive BMI. She is obviously in an executive position, constantly on her corporate issued laptop and iCrackerBot. Our HBC (for Healthy Barefoot Contessa) is in a slightly wrinkled but otherwise attractive black corporate suit coat + knee high skirt combo with long black leather boots having functional but not flat heels.

Ah, her day must have been stressful, because she has succumbed, like many a fatigued commuter, to the gentle sways of the train. She has now become part of the Trainspotting Family.

Caucasian Barack Obama is here, sitting up top, reading an eBook. I expect he is reading ‘Scrounge of the Betrayer’ by Jeff Salyards, as he is focused all of his attention upon the screen. That or some male-enhancement advert. I just hope he is not a banal as that, though one can never be too sure.

If I am not mistaken, Oin, one of the fabled fourteen from the Hobbit, just sat down across the aisle and one seat back. This swarthy, chocolate brown, black bearded, short (5′-3″), stocky (235lbs and 50″ at the greatest circumference) is on the phone, chatting with Bofur or Dwalin or somebody. He looks like an Arab Santa.

Arab Santa, by the way, is the name of a proposed final surge in Afghanistan, suggested by John McCain (R-AZ) and Lindsay Graham (R-SC).

Finally we come to my dear friend(s), Dr. Jekyll-Hyde, the silent, self debating one man Crossfire. Evidently he has been attempting to curtail his self-debating ways using technology. It seems, his centrist personality bought his far-right personality a Kindle for X-mas (USD $75).

Both he and him are eyeball deep in free downloads, including the free-publications from Crossroads America, the Center for Leave it to Beaver reruns, the Mighty Cold War Initiative, Murdocks Are Us, and transcripts from the Hannity Show. I look forward to seeing him (them?) wrap his (their) head around the circular logic that feeds the Deciders in the GOP.

Also here are Clive Owen, Geoffrey Zakarian, Timothy Hutton, and Janeane Garofalo, all heavily armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

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