August 19, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago


Good afternoon. On the, chatty, 4:30PM, out of the City. In an attempt to experience the breadth and depth of personalities that frequent this rail line, I have endeavored to sit in different train cars and make observations innocuously.

The 4:30 is a special train, inhabited by special people. I have documented the crowd that sits in the front passenger car (behind the engine) with some detail. I am now sitting in the sixth car of an eleven car train, just positive on the x-axis if the train was travelling on a Cartesian plane in the -y-direction (minus-y).

You know “that actor” – in this case the one that played the Republican strategist behind Ron Silver’s Bruno Gianelli, for Alan Alda’s Senator Vinnick on later seasons of The West Wing? That guy? Well he’s older now, greyer, more round and laughing bitterly at his well protected iCrackerBot. He looks like an old Irishman who should be hauling barrels on a seaport, but is instead an private detective or “special representative” for a high prices law firm. His hand is as big as my face and the circumference of his gut, elegantly swathed in an Egyptian-cotton woven white button down shirt (hand tailored), and a pair of khaki pants, can be used to as a standard to measure tire radii for pickup trucks.

What is special about O’Halloran here is that when he laughs bitterly at the iCrackerBot, he says out loud, for all to hear, “Heh, that’s funny.” His facial expressions do not convey anything close to funny. I gotta wonder if he just got made like Fatty Bolger for a string of ‘special jobs’ and his lawyer just texted him with the details from the subpoena. “HehHeh. Dats funny.”

Speaking of unusually big people, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is here and is, surprisingly, seated (uncomfortably) up top, about six seats back. The man is unnaturally large, possibly buoyant, with a grey T-shirt and olive-green slacks held up by suspenders. Now, I am no slim-trim stud muffin, but Commander Ballast makes O’Halloran look like Bono from U2’s debut album cover. That’s me in five years if I don’t start getting my act together.

Also here are Tito Jackson from the Jackson Five, Marlee Marlin, Tim Conway, and Morpheus from the Matrix.  All are heavily armed, but are concealing it well.

Happy Monday, Safe travels.

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