Monday, March 10, 2014 – Inbound – trainspottingChicago


jack hannity



Good morning. On the jumpy 6:30… I’m sorry… 7:30AM into the City. The NFI is 2.

I’m in a great mood. I got a chance to teach a makeshift Biochemistry class last night to a bunch of boozers. You see, the folks at the Black Liver Project ( are discerning fans of beer, wine, and spirits, whose mission is to educate and highlight the finer aspects of imbibing. They decided to go back to first principles and inquire about the fundamental question of “What is Alcohol and how is it made?” Being a member, a friend of the curators of the website, and a lapsed but lettered Biochemist, I was asked to prepare a response to the question. We had an hour long video-hangout chat that was both entertaining for me and allowed me a chance to exercise my latent professorial skills. I was happy to be of help.

Well (yawn), enough about my weekend. I’m in the rear quiet car, where there are some people who have decided that they have won some sort of dispensation and were babbling away.

The first group were two Desi men who boarded at my stop. They were chatting about the latest Hindi/Bollywood feature film that they illegally downloaded from the internet and watched on their iTabNebula last night. One fellow, who looks a lot like Mos Def-Yasiin Bey, was about to detail the main scene of the movie to his friend when a co-commuter who reminded me of Sean Hannity turns to them and says “GENTLEMAN! This is a quiet car!” Rest assured, it got quiet for a bit. Then we stopped at the pretty-people stop.

A nice crowd boarded at the pretty people stop. Three pretty people sat in a group in the opposite jump seat. Now, above where I am sitting (facing the crowd) there is a vent stack and a blue laminated hard plastic sign clearly identifying this car as a quiet. There are others posted about the car and in the entrance. I presume that these three folks aren’t blind or have lost control of their motor-neuron functions. So it must be out of defiance or spite that the guy that looks like Doug Stamper from House of Cards, and the blonde woman who reminds me of Meghyn Kelly, are yacking away to the nondescript third person. Personally, I don’t care except for the break in the social contract. And where is Sean Hannity now that the three pretty people are babbling on?

Also here are Barbara Walters, Gore Vidal, Donald Sutherland, and S. Epatha Mekerson. All are armed.

Happy Monday. Safe travels.

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