Wednesday, June 18, 2014 – Inbound – trainspottingChicago

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Good morning.

On the silently major 7:20AM into the City.

I’m in the back quiet car, thinking about website design, new blog content and deadlines when this young woman stands up and starts to unzip her skirt.

Let me be clearer. I had just settled into my jump seat. An older woman (say early sixties) and her younger female companion, whom I presume to be a relative, sit down three seats in front of me. The elder looks like a TV sitcom mom from the late 70’s, like Maude’s BFF. The younger one looks exactly like Kristen Schall, the Daily Show’s senior women’s correspondent.

The younger woman is very chatty and very conscious about her overall look. As she was sitting down, she felt that her skirt was not oriented correctly and asked her elder friend for help. The elder woman unzipped Kristen’s black knee-high skirt and proceeded to help Kristen readjust the skirt by shimmying the waist of the piece counterclockwise around Kristen’s waist. All this time, Kristen was performing a hula-hoop hip gesture to find the comfortable location of, what I surmise to be, the vertical hem of the skirt, that she felt better represents “front” vs “back” of what essentially is a symmetric shape.

The elder gentleman who looked like Denny Hastert (R-IL), who was sitting two seats behind the two women, was watching the proceedings with an amused smile on his face, reflexively pulling out a money clip full of singles before realizing where he was.

Going back to Kristen for a moment – the poor thing evidently cannot read, as she has continued to talk to her elder friend constantly on the trip as she (Kristen) did her makeup. She looked up and saw the sign for respectful silence and finally understood what the sign meant just as the conductor came by to pick up her ticket.

Also here are George Will, Sir Ben Kingsley, an ESPN commentator, and Martina Navratilova. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

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