Category Archives: PM – Evening Commute

Thursday, February 12, 2015 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon.

On the, best and brightest, 3:55PM out of the City.

A crowded front train car this early evening. My parents have been married for fifty years on this day. They wish to have the family out for dinner – pizza, as is their call – requiring me to get home and clean up.

It’s also “Darwin’s Day”. Charles Darwin was born on this day 206 years ago, February 12, 1809. Abraham Lincoln was also born on February 12, 1809. Coincidentally, my parents were married 156 years after their birth, and generated me six years, minus one day, later, in the land of Lincoln. I am an avowed Darwinist.

Correlation is not Causation but it’s nice to speculate.

Well, enough about me. Benched War Correspondent (BWC) is here l, and he is clean shaven, well dressed and looking out the window with a gleam in his eye.

Y’see, with the controversy surrounding veteran anchorman Brian Williams and his lapses in memory, BWC may actually get a promotion. The National network is looking for a confident, all American, family man type anchor. Though he may not be the first choice, his evening team staff are all in the running. Which means that while they are away at 30Rock,  screen testing, he can host the evening news. In prime time! He looks ecstatic in his brooding silence. He is on his way to his therapist to work on the PTSD and image projection issues he still is working through.

There is a woman here that reminds me of Angelica Huston, but without the glam and makeup. She looks like she’s desperately revisiting a time where she felt more beautiful, by catching up on the latest trends with a copy of Glamour magazine. Yet, instead of being interested in adopting some of the styles or advise presented, she is disappointed in the realization that she can’t “pull that look off” anymore. She puts the magazine away and starts playing with her bangs.

Also here are a disappointingly static Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde, Frieda Kahlo, Taye Diggs, Sen. Ted Cruz, and Mayor Rahm Emmanuel. All are armed.

Happy Darwin Day.
Safe travels.

January 28, 2015 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon. I’m on the, now legendary, 3:58PM out of the City. In my old stomping grounds – first car just behind the engine. I’m in my favorite jump seat, facing the crowd.

I got here a bit early so I could catch this seat. I’m hoping some of the old regulars will show up.

Caucasian Barack Obama is here. The young, handsome fellow is seated where I last left him, up on the second floor row of seats. His valise or backpack is on his lap. He has no earbuds on, so I am guessing he’s on his iCrackerBot, finishing off some work related correspondence. It’s possible CBO is ordering Indian food, as his doppelganger, the President of the United States, is finishing up his tour of India. It would be a happy coincidence if both got a slight bit of indigestion over some chicken tikka masala. A multiracial, international, Maalox moment.

Speaking of coincidence, my absolute favorite fellow commuter just got on the train. For those of you who have forgotten, Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here – the Joe Torre looking fellow who talks to himself on the ride home. His mouth moves, but no sound escapes him in mid-self-rant. He is currently reading a commuter newsletter put out by the rail authority.

He’s aged a bit. The hair that was once a brownish blonde is now more gray than brown. At least he still has most of his hair. I am practically unrecognizable after almost a year, with less and less on my head.

Oh. Benched War Correspondent is here. He’s casually looking over the other commuters, nodding his head in disgust. With the Coalition forces mostly out of Iraq, and the December 31 pullout of Afghanistan, BWC has be regulated to covering the pre-2016 primary pre-parties. He can’t believe that the 114th Congress got in with nothing more than 33% of the electorate voting, and GOP leaders are calling this “a referendum” or that the “American People have spoken.” No, they haven’t. It is in part due to the ennui of politics itself and the lackluster selection of representatives. BWC goes back to his novel about a a pair of unknown reporters doing the groundwork investigations that ultimately unseat a corrupt official. You know….fiction.

Dr. Michiu Kaku of CUNY is here, reviewing a manuscript about global warming data. As expected, and accounting for every known control and theoretical outcome, and using repeated trials by different laboratories and repeatable model structures, the compilation of amassed knowledge points to the overconsumption of resources by humans as the probable cause for recent increases in atmospheric CO2 levels. Unfortunately, there are too many syllables in that last sentence for policy makers and wonks to finally understand that this can cannot and should not be kicked down to the next congress/president/poobah. He is banging on the laptop, trying to rewrite his byline, in the hopes that Sen. John Thune (R-SC), Rep. Lamar  Smith (R-Tx), and their respective staff will learn something about what’s happening in the nonpolitical world around them.

Oh. Here we go. Dr. J-H has finished reading his newsletter, and after staring out the window, decides to discuss the recent gathering of GOP nominees in Iowa earlier this week. His far-right persona can’t say enough about former half-Governor Sarah Palin, and how she is the perfect candidate to go up against Hillary Clinton. He doesn’t care about what the leftist media and the “supposed far-rightish Fox News” thinks of Sarah Palin’s chances, he got exact what she was talking about when she was on that podium on Saturday last. He stops, mid rant, and smiles. I do believe his far-right personality has a crush on the Woman of Wasilla.

His center right personality kicks in, just as the train pulls into the first stop. “Nonsense”, mouths this side of him. Who can be sure of a Hillary win? The current President won, twice! The first time, he beat a younger Hillary! What’s to say another (heh) dark horse doesn’t swoop in to run. How about Cory Booker? What if Condi Rice switches sides? We can’t call her on Gulf War 2, cause we supported that conflict!

He stops. He’s tired.

Also here are Christof Waltz, Louis CK, and Lance Armstrong. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

January 28, 2015 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon. I’m on the, now legendary, 3:58PM out of the City. In my old stomping grounds – first car just behind the engine. I’m in my favorite jump seat, facing the crowd.

I got here a bit early so I could catch this seat. I’m hoping some of the old regulars will show up.

Caucasian Barack Obama is here. The young, handsome fellow is seated where I last left him, up on the second floor row of seats. His valise or backpack is on his lap. He has no earbuds on, so I am guessing he’s on his iCrackerBot, finishing off some work related correspondence. It’s possible CBO is ordering Indian food, as his doppelganger, the President of the United States, is finishing up his tour of India. It would be a happy coincidence if both got a slight bit of indigestion over some chicken tikka masala. A multiracial, international, Maalox moment.

Speaking of coincidence, my absolute favorite fellow commuter just got on the train. For those of you who have forgotten, Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here – the Joe Torre looking fellow who talks to himself on the ride home. His mouth moves, but no sound escapes him in mid-self-rant. He is currently reading a commuter newsletter put out by the rail authority.

He’s aged a bit. The hair that was once a brownish blonde is now more gray than brown. At least he still has most of his hair. I am practically unrecognizable after almost a year, with less and less on my head.

Oh. Benched War Correspondent is here. He’s casually looking over the other commuters, nodding his head in disgust. With the Coalition forces mostly out of Iraq, and the December 31 pullout of Afghanistan, BWC has be regulated to covering the pre-2016 primary pre-parties. He can’t believe that the 114th Congress got in with nothing more than 33% of the electorate voting, and GOP leaders are calling this “a referendum” or that the “American People have spoken.” No, they haven’t. It is in part due to the ennui of politics itself and the lackluster selection of representatives. BWC goes back to his novel about a a pair of unknown reporters doing the groundwork investigations that ultimately unseat a corrupt official. You know….fiction.

Dr. Michiu Kaku of CUNY is here, reviewing a manuscript about global warming data. As expected, and accounting for every known control and theoretical outcome, and using repeated trials by different laboratories and repeatable model structures, the compilation of amassed knowledge points to the overconsumption of resources by humans as the probable cause for recent increases in atmospheric CO2 levels. Unfortunately, there are too many syllables in that last sentence for policy makers and wonks to finally understand that this can cannot and should not be kicked down to the next congress/president/poobah. He is banging on the laptop, trying to rewrite his byline, in the hopes that Sen. John Thune (R-SC), Rep. Lamar  Smith (R-Tx), and their respective staff will learn something about what’s happening in the nonpolitical world around them.

Oh. Here we go. Dr. J-H has finished reading his newsletter, and after staring out the window, decides to discuss the recent gathering of GOP nominees in Iowa earlier this week. His far-right persona can’t say enough about former half-Governor Sarah Palin, and how she is the perfect candidate to go up against Hillary Clinton. He doesn’t care about what the leftist media and the “supposed far-rightish Fox News” thinks of Sarah Palin’s chances, he got exact what she was talking about when she was on that podium on Saturday last. He stops, mid rant, and smiles. I do believe his far-right personality has a crush on the Woman of Wasilla.

His center right personality kicks in, just as the train pulls into the first stop. “Nonsense”, mouths this side of him. Who can be sure of a Hillary win? The current President won, twice! The first time, he beat a younger Hillary! What’s to say another (heh) dark horse doesn’t swoop in to run. How about Cory Booker? What if Condi Rice switches sides? We can’t call her on Gulf War 2, cause we supported that conflict!

He stops. He’s tired.

Also here are Christof Waltz, Louis CK, and Lance Armstrong. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good evening.

I’m on the, exceptionally brief, 5:22PM out of the City.

This train is an express to my very nice stop, with one prior stop to the very Very nice stop before my own. My Boss borrowed my family minivan for a thing he had to do today, but he let me drive his very very nice luxury sedan. The rules? From his house to my house last night. From my house to the very Very nice town station (for which he has a parking pass). Hop the train to work. Take care of business. Come back to the very Very nice town’s station and go back to his house to switch vehicles.

I’m on that second to last leg now.

A Seth Rogan looking ginger-haired fellow, with a full beard, is seated one seat over. Ginger-blonde, actually. A sharp nose. His claim to fame is a tweed jacket and a blue-gray plaid bow tie. This on a steel-gray plain button down cotton shirt. Already, this is an impressive feat of fashion excellence. He brings black horn rimmed glasses worthy of 1950’s rock and rollers, and high end, studio quality sound isolating headphones for his, now-antiquated iCrackerBot05.

Behind him sits a dejected Bill Nye. He is still regretting having participated in the publicly held debate regarding Creation vs Evolution. All it did was be a money maker for Ken Ham, and not a forum for reasonable discussion of what should be taught in science class. He’s still, while seated, itemizing the expense receipts for his accountants so that he doesn’t get audited by the God Fearing IRS.

A handsome North Indian couple is seated in my jump seat. Thankfully, she sits across from me, though he is rather good looking. She is curvy, but not overweight. She should smile more when she texts home to Mumbai. He is playing solitaire.
Ah, love!

Also here are Molly Ringwald, Ban Ki Moon, Don Zimmer, and the Wicked Witch of the West. All are armed.

I just decided to hire a drum teacher. I just donated money to my Alma Mater. Homecoming, here we come.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

Thursday, September 18, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon.
I’m on the 3:58PM out of the City.

I think John Cleese and Merv Griffin just sat next to me in the jump seat on this crowded train home.

The Python is in full modern-day mustachio-mode, with thinking gray hair, a gray beard, button-down tightly-patterned checkered shirt on a gray background, and black slacks that are too tight in the nether regions. He is not well endowed, or because of age and inactivity,  the whole package as ascended back into his lower torso for safekeeping.

I cannot make much of Merv except for his profile. Blonde with thinning hair, blue striped button down shirt and dark navy blue pants. Big backpack. He is napping uncomfortably, in a “Thinker” pose. His wedding ring is shiny and without blemish, connoting a late marriage or more likely a second or third marriage. Merv got freckles.

Also here are Floyd Merryweather, the Lorax, Corazon Aquino, Robert Blake, and Ari Fleischer. All are armed.

Happiness to you all.
Safe travels.

Monday, September 15, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon.
I’m on the 3:58PM out of the City.

Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here. He is frustrated about something. He just went into a silent tirade. I can’t quite make out what’s bothering him, but it is either the recent half-measures proposed by the POTUS about ISIL in Iraq, or he is reenacting a particularly animated breakup with an office romance that happened in 1983.

He seems to be lecturing his window mirror image about how the Unites States has behaved poorly over the last decade or more, making either too rash or too timid decisions about foreign policy and US interests throughout the world.

Or, he seems to be arguing with Uniqua about a reckless dalliance with a bisexual cabaret dancer in 1983, at a time where everyone in the office pool is noticing that they are acting more and more like a married couple every day, but that Uniqua’s family, former Civil Rights activists and Black Power advocates, would not be pleased to have her bring him, a young baseball player looking pasty faced, back to Greensville, Alabama for Thanksgiving.

He stares out into the green-gray haze of the afternoon sky, through the triple glazed safety windows, reminiscing about the halcyon days of the Reagan Administration.

Three Desi IT fellows decided that they felt most comfortable. They are comparing breakfast bunch places in the Western Suburbs. One fellow is the “foodie”; the other two are misers. One goes to the nicer places for the experience. The other two are trying to get the most for their money. My wife would love this conversation. I stay quiet, with headphones in my head.

Also here are Jeffrey Dahmer, Clive Owen, Katey Segal, Will Farrell, and Harvey Keitel. The are armed.

Happy Monday. Safe travels.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon.

I’m on the 3:58PM out of the City.

Dr.Jeckyl-Hyde is in full swing. He has his right hand supporting the right side of his animated face, which is speaking to the back of Benched War Correspondent’s head.

Evidently he was listening to Elizabeth Warren’s questions to the SEC general, where she asked the question “Why hasn’t the SEC recommended a list of bank executives to be further prosecuted for fraud for the collapse of the economy due to CDS (Or CDO or CDL) – bad mortgages, since the Banks have already claimed direct liability and have been accrued fines of up to $32B?”

The SEC General, whose name J-H is now pondering, didn’t have a direct answer, stating that the SEC is a monitoring agency only with no prosecutorial powers. J-H renacts Sen. Warren’s clarification to the General “But, General, during the S&L crisis of the mid-1980’s, it was common that the SEC sent recommendations and amassed evidence to the Attorney General’s office to prosecute those executives found to commit fraud through the SEC’s hard work. Did the SEC do that with the evidence amassed that need to the fines against the current banks?” “No”, replied the General (again, J-H reenacting the whole conversation). “Why not?” asks J-H’s Senator Warren.

J-H then stops, like like the SEC General, and looks out the window silently.

Elizabeth Warren EMBARRASSES Bank Regulators At F…: http://youtu.be/2F6YkBa_Tig

Also here are Reverend Run, Moby, Gloria Estevan, Rachel Maddow, and the Son of Svenghoulie. All are armed.

Back to “One Size Fits All”.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.