Tag Archives: Caucasian Barack Obama

January 28, 2015 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon. I’m on the, now legendary, 3:58PM out of the City. In my old stomping grounds – first car just behind the engine. I’m in my favorite jump seat, facing the crowd.

I got here a bit early so I could catch this seat. I’m hoping some of the old regulars will show up.

Caucasian Barack Obama is here. The young, handsome fellow is seated where I last left him, up on the second floor row of seats. His valise or backpack is on his lap. He has no earbuds on, so I am guessing he’s on his iCrackerBot, finishing off some work related correspondence. It’s possible CBO is ordering Indian food, as his doppelganger, the President of the United States, is finishing up his tour of India. It would be a happy coincidence if both got a slight bit of indigestion over some chicken tikka masala. A multiracial, international, Maalox moment.

Speaking of coincidence, my absolute favorite fellow commuter just got on the train. For those of you who have forgotten, Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here – the Joe Torre looking fellow who talks to himself on the ride home. His mouth moves, but no sound escapes him in mid-self-rant. He is currently reading a commuter newsletter put out by the rail authority.

He’s aged a bit. The hair that was once a brownish blonde is now more gray than brown. At least he still has most of his hair. I am practically unrecognizable after almost a year, with less and less on my head.

Oh. Benched War Correspondent is here. He’s casually looking over the other commuters, nodding his head in disgust. With the Coalition forces mostly out of Iraq, and the December 31 pullout of Afghanistan, BWC has be regulated to covering the pre-2016 primary pre-parties. He can’t believe that the 114th Congress got in with nothing more than 33% of the electorate voting, and GOP leaders are calling this “a referendum” or that the “American People have spoken.” No, they haven’t. It is in part due to the ennui of politics itself and the lackluster selection of representatives. BWC goes back to his novel about a a pair of unknown reporters doing the groundwork investigations that ultimately unseat a corrupt official. You know….fiction.

Dr. Michiu Kaku of CUNY is here, reviewing a manuscript about global warming data. As expected, and accounting for every known control and theoretical outcome, and using repeated trials by different laboratories and repeatable model structures, the compilation of amassed knowledge points to the overconsumption of resources by humans as the probable cause for recent increases in atmospheric CO2 levels. Unfortunately, there are too many syllables in that last sentence for policy makers and wonks to finally understand that this can cannot and should not be kicked down to the next congress/president/poobah. He is banging on the laptop, trying to rewrite his byline, in the hopes that Sen. John Thune (R-SC), Rep. Lamar  Smith (R-Tx), and their respective staff will learn something about what’s happening in the nonpolitical world around them.

Oh. Here we go. Dr. J-H has finished reading his newsletter, and after staring out the window, decides to discuss the recent gathering of GOP nominees in Iowa earlier this week. His far-right persona can’t say enough about former half-Governor Sarah Palin, and how she is the perfect candidate to go up against Hillary Clinton. He doesn’t care about what the leftist media and the “supposed far-rightish Fox News” thinks of Sarah Palin’s chances, he got exact what she was talking about when she was on that podium on Saturday last. He stops, mid rant, and smiles. I do believe his far-right personality has a crush on the Woman of Wasilla.

His center right personality kicks in, just as the train pulls into the first stop. “Nonsense”, mouths this side of him. Who can be sure of a Hillary win? The current President won, twice! The first time, he beat a younger Hillary! What’s to say another (heh) dark horse doesn’t swoop in to run. How about Cory Booker? What if Condi Rice switches sides? We can’t call her on Gulf War 2, cause we supported that conflict!

He stops. He’s tired.

Also here are Christof Waltz, Louis CK, and Lance Armstrong. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

January 28, 2015 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon. I’m on the, now legendary, 3:58PM out of the City. In my old stomping grounds – first car just behind the engine. I’m in my favorite jump seat, facing the crowd.

I got here a bit early so I could catch this seat. I’m hoping some of the old regulars will show up.

Caucasian Barack Obama is here. The young, handsome fellow is seated where I last left him, up on the second floor row of seats. His valise or backpack is on his lap. He has no earbuds on, so I am guessing he’s on his iCrackerBot, finishing off some work related correspondence. It’s possible CBO is ordering Indian food, as his doppelganger, the President of the United States, is finishing up his tour of India. It would be a happy coincidence if both got a slight bit of indigestion over some chicken tikka masala. A multiracial, international, Maalox moment.

Speaking of coincidence, my absolute favorite fellow commuter just got on the train. For those of you who have forgotten, Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here – the Joe Torre looking fellow who talks to himself on the ride home. His mouth moves, but no sound escapes him in mid-self-rant. He is currently reading a commuter newsletter put out by the rail authority.

He’s aged a bit. The hair that was once a brownish blonde is now more gray than brown. At least he still has most of his hair. I am practically unrecognizable after almost a year, with less and less on my head.

Oh. Benched War Correspondent is here. He’s casually looking over the other commuters, nodding his head in disgust. With the Coalition forces mostly out of Iraq, and the December 31 pullout of Afghanistan, BWC has be regulated to covering the pre-2016 primary pre-parties. He can’t believe that the 114th Congress got in with nothing more than 33% of the electorate voting, and GOP leaders are calling this “a referendum” or that the “American People have spoken.” No, they haven’t. It is in part due to the ennui of politics itself and the lackluster selection of representatives. BWC goes back to his novel about a a pair of unknown reporters doing the groundwork investigations that ultimately unseat a corrupt official. You know….fiction.

Dr. Michiu Kaku of CUNY is here, reviewing a manuscript about global warming data. As expected, and accounting for every known control and theoretical outcome, and using repeated trials by different laboratories and repeatable model structures, the compilation of amassed knowledge points to the overconsumption of resources by humans as the probable cause for recent increases in atmospheric CO2 levels. Unfortunately, there are too many syllables in that last sentence for policy makers and wonks to finally understand that this can cannot and should not be kicked down to the next congress/president/poobah. He is banging on the laptop, trying to rewrite his byline, in the hopes that Sen. John Thune (R-SC), Rep. Lamar  Smith (R-Tx), and their respective staff will learn something about what’s happening in the nonpolitical world around them.

Oh. Here we go. Dr. J-H has finished reading his newsletter, and after staring out the window, decides to discuss the recent gathering of GOP nominees in Iowa earlier this week. His far-right persona can’t say enough about former half-Governor Sarah Palin, and how she is the perfect candidate to go up against Hillary Clinton. He doesn’t care about what the leftist media and the “supposed far-rightish Fox News” thinks of Sarah Palin’s chances, he got exact what she was talking about when she was on that podium on Saturday last. He stops, mid rant, and smiles. I do believe his far-right personality has a crush on the Woman of Wasilla.

His center right personality kicks in, just as the train pulls into the first stop. “Nonsense”, mouths this side of him. Who can be sure of a Hillary win? The current President won, twice! The first time, he beat a younger Hillary! What’s to say another (heh) dark horse doesn’t swoop in to run. How about Cory Booker? What if Condi Rice switches sides? We can’t call her on Gulf War 2, cause we supported that conflict!

He stops. He’s tired.

Also here are Christof Waltz, Louis CK, and Lance Armstrong. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

Thursday, January 9, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the displaced 3:55PM out of the City. The NFI is 1. Lots of “old coats” on.

So Robin Williams usurped my jump seat. He is a big fellow, about 6’0″ and a good 275lb or more. His scruffy beard and baggy jeans suggests he is a fellow who’s income is not dependent on attending planning meetings. I want to guess IT hardware guy or associate sound mixer. But since he was providing financial advise to Chelsea Clinton, I’m thinking he’s a recently enrolled non-traditional graduate student. In any case, the bastard is in my seat, dammit!

Well, I shouldn’t be so indignant about it. I haven’t been on this train for over twelve days. I lost my throne.

Chelsea just showed up. She is looking very cute. She’s got warm leggings under a thigh-high black skirt, a comfy gray-black-charcoal sweater. Her ginger hair is just-past shoulder length. She’s got a darker voice.

Donna Noble from Season four of Doctor Who (the reboot) is here. The curvaceous redhead is bundled in a down coat and black slacks. She looks irritable, much like how viewing audiences were introduced to her. I expect her, at any moment during the trip, to yell “OI! Chelsea and Mork from Pork! Get a room!” and then go back to her (real) newspaper.

Stanley Tucci is sitting up top. The esteemed actor is on his iCrackerBot, probably taking texts from Jennifer Laurence about paparazzi and TeenBeatdown Magazine articles about Photoshop. He, ever the wise teacher and mentor from the Devil Wears Prada, councils her to continue to do whatever she is doing.

Given where I am banished to, which is the jump seat across the aisle from my usual seat, I cannot see the ongoing argument Dr. Jekyll-Hyde is having with himself about the evolving Chris Christy traffic study. As it was said yesterday on the Daily Show, there is much excitement in the Paul Ryan camp right now. I wonder how J-H is handling the conversations?

Benched War Correspondent is also here. He wanted to follow the trail of chemical weapons from Syria to the Nordic container ships waiting on the coast of Lebanon (or was it Saudi Arabia?) hoping to score his next Pulitzer by reporting on an attempted snatch-and-grab by some offshoot of AlKindaCare in Qumar. Alas he is still benched because of that little favor he helped set up with some “anonymous sources” in the USSS while POTUS was visiting Columbus. Or was it Columbia. Either way, he’s still in the doghouse for that.

Also here are Caucasian Barack Obama, Harvey Keitel, a hipster blogger, Ed O’Neill from Married With Children, and Morley Safer. All are heavily armed.

Happy Thursday. Safe travels.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the discombobulating 3:58PM out of the City. The NFI is already 2 and climbing.

I am a bit displaced. A bearded fellow who looks like Robin Williams from Good Will Hunting was already in my usual jump seat, also facing the fellow commuters. Unfortunately, instead of taking the opportunity to get to know the rest of the car from his vantage point, he whips out his leather-protected iReader device and proceeds to fiddle with “SuckerSmash” or “CashCrop” or “CrosswordsWithCrazies”. All of that can be easily done without sprawling oneself like a beached walrus over the seat.

Well, it’s to be expected. I haven’t been here to observe the crowd. I haven’t been on this train for over three weeks. My scent has worn off. I need to reclaim my territory – but not today. I need to train before usurping the, now slovenly and unctuous, alpha male. I’ve nothing but time.

Ooohh! The plot thickens! A ginger-headed Chelsea Clinton just sat down in front of Robin. They are …what?…bar buddies? Train mates? She is evidently a college student or grad student. He is regaling her with stories of making bruchetta for holiday guests and setting off the fire alarm.

Ah! Evidently she trusts Robin with financial matters. He sounds knowledgeable with the ways of the Greenback. She his talking about how her hubby has a life insurance policy and there’s a cash value. They start mumbling. I am bored. Perhaps she is asking with a longing gaze into his vapid, iGaming gaze? If I turned to look, it would be too obvious, so I let it go.

Jim Broadbent, the acclaimed British actor, is seated at the opposite end of the car, facing me. The thespian is adorned, modern businessman style, with a black camelhair overcoat and red scarf, smartly wrapped around his neck and chest. He is tired from a reading at the Cadillac Theater in Downtown for a short-run production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but is unlikely to get the part. Not enough southern drawl.

Also here are Dr. Jeckyll-Hyde, Caucasian Barack Obama, Harvey Keitel, Liberace, and Fred Armisen. All are armed.

More on these later. Thank you – the four of you – for waiting. I’ll keep an eye on all the favorites and new faces for 2014.

Safe travels.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the most favorited 3:56PM out of the City. I am, at least, dryer than I was this morning on the Inbound.

It’s early yet. Caucasian Barack Obama is here, up top. He’s on his iCrackerBot, no doubt revisiting the updated healthcare.gov website. One or two of my conservative friends are wishing for the walls to tumble.

I don’t recall, in recent memory, the doings of a single President were so reviled by the opposition party. Even during the heady days of #43, whom nobody seems to want to talk about anymore, you didn’t have the level of bile and abject hate that I’m seeing from the conservatives. One openly said that Reagan, Romney and McCain weren’t conservative enough. What does it mean to be a Conservative anymore?

Anyway, that’s just not important right now. The compartment is getting more full. A Yeardly Smith looking woman is seated in Dr. J-H’s spot. Dr. Jeckyll-Hyde is seated next to Ms. Smith and is already talking to himself.

His far-right self is surprisingly low key, waiting for the whole deck of cards to fall down on ACA. The center-right part of his psyche isn’t saying anything, lest his best and only friend call him out as a (gasp!) Progressive or (gaspgasp!) RINO. The absolute gall of his far-right personality to call his center personality a RINO!? How could his far-right know what his right was thinking.

Heh. As I was typing, Dr. Jeckyll-Hyde asked to switch places with Yeardly Smith. They (far-right and right) are chatting away now, completely silently. They are in their zone. I can’t make out what is being said. A fellow who looks like Ralph Macchio sat in my line of sight.

A lot of dejected religious-right folk on the train looking morose over the decision by the State Legislature to recognize same-sex marriage. Too bad.

Also here are Clive Owen, Hillary Swank, Benched War Correspondent, and Harvey Keitel. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe Travels.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the, bubble popping, 3:58PM out of the City. Day Sixteen of the US Shutdown.

The four die-hard followers of this travelogue may recall a short Hurt like desi woman that I nicknamed “Big Momma”, who is usually seen with an equally short, but far less voluminous male I’ve named “Le Petit Moustache”. Well she is here. And she brought go women with her. Both are tall, pretty and about my age, probably younger.

Big Momma is in a white, embroidered silk “Punjabi dress” or “chunni”. The top goes down to just-above her knees. The hem is a hot pink diamond shaped embroidery. The leggings are hot pink.

Ms. Thing 1 in front of me, has a department store pullover over a Paisley cotton print, also from India. Very hip-hippie. Blue jeans, comfortable shoes and a big two-toned faux-leather purse close the ensemble. Ms. Thing 2 is all American fashion. Fall-type black jacket. White blouse with a bit of frill. Black slacks. Grey purse.

Ms. Thing 1 and Ms. Thing 2 speak Telugu and Hindi and English. Big Momma does not speak Telugu, so all three are mixing their English and Hindi. If Thing 1 and Thing 2 want to private message, they go into fluent Telugu, which I understand. I am sipping a can of beer, which bothers all three but I ignore. Thing 1 is a natural beauty. Thing 2 is less so. Big Momma is in charge and is most certainly descended from Jabba.

The three believe wholeheartedly that I don’t understand a word they are saying. They want me to leave. I periodically tale slow sips on my beer.

Also here, all the way near the main entrance, is a couple in their late 20’s. Both brunettes, she looks like she came from Dance Studio or a workout for a modeling agency. He looks like he just finished teaching Modern Grunge Rock 103. Her hair is up in an “I Dream Of Jeannie” tail held up by a big white hairband. He has a full beard – not quite Civil War but certainly not Five-O-Clock. They are quite attractive. I do believe he has excited her in some way, though with some news of a band-tour and not by digital means.

The three desi Women in my jump seat are 1) actively looking for other seating and b)openly talking about other passengers, in Hindi. They are not kind. It is difficult for me to stay un-reactive, as I want to punk them or provide my own commentary with them. Probably the former.

Also here are three furloughed Federal DOC prison guards, Stephen Fry, Caucasian Barack Obama, two deer hunters and Louis Leakey. All are armed.

Shutdown don’t over till the House ratifies the Senate compromise everyone is excited about. When POTUS signs the CR, Government is back to work.

Round Two just after the New Year.
I want to call the 113th the “Breaking Badly” Congress.

Happy Wednesday. Safe Travels.

Monday, October 14, 2013 – Columbus Day -Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the, sparsly populated, 3:55PM out of the City.

A couple of administrative items. You folks may have noticed a few defining characteristics about this blog that I will define explicitly right now.
I use mobile technology to generate the posts. Sometimes in my enthusiasm for my day job, I forget to maintain that technology. Today’s post is being put together on an iReamInfernoNebula device. This device requires short-distance WiFi signal, vs the 16G-HVY cell signal connecting a phone/iCrackerBot device.

Also, as a reminder, all of the posts generated are done so from the time I sit down on the train to the time I finish, or when I am about to disembark. The prose is written, the tags are identified and an appropriate photo is downloaded from the Interwebspace to highlight or accent the decidedly drole narrative. This process leaves me very little time to edit the text or to appropriately cite photog sources. For this, I could use some help so I can widen the audience. The four of you that actually read this blog think it worthy of professional help. We’ll talk compensation later.

Its the End of Day Fourteen of the US Shutdown. I’ve come to realize how illiterate and ignorant the American public is about history and rhetoric. We quickly adopt the company byline. Politics has become a one issue/binary problem. Both sides, but decidedly the Republican side, has become opportunistic. Today we saw Veterans move barriers to the WWII memorial in DC, and then protest in front of the White House with a Union Jack flag (or a Confederate Flag), openly siding with a Sessesionist movement from 150 years ago.

Now, I know that the Far Right is Conservative and wants to preserve American values. Are they inferring that those American Values are anti-Union values? Were those heroes of WWII, whom the Right Wing Tea Party Republicans have taken the brand, aligning with breaking up the Union, again? Weren’t they fighting for Democracy and against Adolf Hitler? There aren’t many WWII vets left, but I’m pretty sure they weren’t fighting for the break up of the Union and the preservation of Slavery.

The party of Abraham Lincoln, Republican, Unionist. Let us not forget our History.

Benched War Correspondent, Matt Smith of Doctor Who fame, and Caucasian Barack Obama are here. A bunch of unidentifiable folk too. All are armed.

It is the height of jingism and hubris in Politics to base decisions on belief and not public trust.

Hapoy Columbus Day. Conquer a new world, but try not to do so with slavery and bio warfare. Try reasonable conversation.
Safe travels.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the, Wheezy, 3:55PM out of the City.
End of Day Eight of the US Shutdown.

My conservative FB friends have been on the defensive about the actions of their party. Some have tried to diffuse the blame of the current crisis onto the President. “Why didn’t you define ACA when we asked you to the last 35 times! We had no choice but to shutdown the Government. This is your Shutdown, BHO!” Thing is, these same folks on the web are, by and large reasonable people and realize how silly they sound defending the current position. Especially the “Constitutionalist” folk! Wow, the blowback these poor GOPers get from those damned centrist Democrats using reason and legal precedent to smack down the, God-blessed, Founding Fathered position, is disheartening. I want to give my conservative friends all a silver star for effort, a lollypop and a silk handkerchief to wipe away the delusion from their eyes.

Anyway, two hipster types are discussing the closeout some five seats back. Both have well trimmed jaw-line beards. They are laughing around each other in metrosexual politeness. They look fashionably scruffy. Both are purposely bald or closely head shaven. By the way, when did skin-headedness become mainstream cool? When I was a young man, the skin heads were the ones that, as a group, went out purposely beat up brown people. Now, they are funding and attending world music concerts. Wild!

Eric Idle just sat down. The long, lanky, late-40’s traveling consultant just sat next to me in the jumpseat and has decided to tune in and tune out with his iClipBlazeNebula device. I know that he is a traveler because he is in an academic looking greenish-grey sweater over a white T-shirt, blue jeans, beige socks, and comfortable shoes. He is wearing a lanyard with an international airline logo, which has an ID clip hanging at the vertex of then parabola holding his consultant ID and his monthly pass. This Pythonesque doppelganger has an involuntary twitch in his right eye. Or, perhaps, I’m being punked right now on candid camera.

PJ O’Rourke is here. The conservative commentator is on his iClipBlazeNebula, banging away another op-ed about the Shutdown. He looks dejected. He knows the intent is not a righteous cause but, as his more-conservative commentators have made clear, an outright intent to sabotage the ACA because of HIM – the POTUS. He is trying to be a good booster, but because he is actually reasonable, sees the folly in the act. Like the minority Senators in the US Congress.

Also here are Kelsey Grammar, Harvey Keitel, Zachary Quinto, Caucasian Barack Obama, Mike Ditka and Sir Richard Harris. All are armed.

Happy Tuesday. Stay alert. Safe travels.

Monday, October 7, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the, vaguely familiar, 3:55PM out of the City. Ending Day Seven of the Standoff in the US Capitol Corral.

Let’s get right to it. The Historian is here. For those of you who remember, this fellow is a bigger, pear shaped version of a well renowned, yet forgotten-named Presidential Historian. I originally thought he was doing research on the (best) forgotten President James K. Polk, when in fact he is personally evoking the physique and presence of William Howard Taft. Unfortunately, the Historian is unable to replicate the formidable mustache that made Taft the first Arctic Walrus President. After a long day of sifting through archival data at some of the City’s most reputable academic and private collections, Historian is conked out asleep. Poor fella.

Its a rather crowded front car this evening. Matt Smith, the 11th Doctor, is here. For those of you asleep at the Science Fiction wheel, Doctor Who is the longest running (though not quite continuous) Science Fiction TV serial ever made, by the BBC London.

Well, the latest actor to play the regenerative roll of the Doctor, Matt Smith, is here and is superlatively coiffed with that thick head of wavy hair. His last appearance playing the gallivanting Gallifreyan ended a few days ago, and young Matt Smith has been on a bender in the City. I’d ask for the scruffy, angle jawed, handsome fellow’s autograph, but I am unsure if it is him. Seriously, folks, he is the epitome of modern health. VaVoom!

I can’t chat for very long. Phone calls coming in. Also here are Al Bundy, a Sontaran Field Marshall, Wagner-Fan, Clive Owen, Sir Richard Harris, a darker Pink, Mike Ditka, Minnie Minoso, Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde, and Caucasian Barack Obama. All are armed.

If you have become desensitized to the partial closure of Government, then please take another look. A partially operational federal government is a lot like a partially functional computer system. Nothing really works until the OS comes fully online and operational.

Happy Monday. Safe travels.

Monday, September 30, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the, highly recommended, 3:55PM out of the City. I hope you are all well.

I say that, in part because tomorrow is the first day of Obamacare. This president has the dubious distinction of having, not a doctrine like Truman or a political movement like Jackson, but an actual bit of law nicknamed after him. It wasn’t called “Johnson-Care” in 1966. It was called “Medicare”. But this? “Obamacare.”

Like it or not, it’s the law of the land. Like owning a car, where you gotta buy insurance for the vehicle, you now have to buy insurance to get access to healthcare. So, find an exchange, call your State government. Get enrolled today.

My take on it? It must be a good law because nobody likes it. Also, healthcare is a for-profit business. General health of the populace is a for-profit business. I wonder how we’d feel if law enforcement, fire protection, and judicial prudence were also for-profit enterprises. Oh, wait…..

Anyway, good health to you. Wagner-fan is here. He’s looking well. He’s lost a little weight. A little. He’s fiddling with his iCrackerbot, queueing up Zubin Mehta’s direction of ‘Valkyries’ with LSO. Mazeltov.

Benched War Correspondent is here. He is wishing nothing but ill-will towards Vladimir Putin. Y’see, a military intervention in Syria was just the thing he was looking for to get back “into the game”. He already has contact on the ground – old friends from the Beirut Bombing days – that he was hoping to touch base with as an imbedded reporter. If nothing else, he was hoping for some free-range-mutton Shwarma and mortar-shell ground couscous, versus the franchised stuff he finds in the Southwest suburbs and in DC.

Clive Owen is here. He is catching up on Season Four of “Breaking Bad” so he can at least seem quasi-hip at the coffee machine, trying to follow the young web-heads ADD’ing over how then show ended. “OMG and what they did with Jesse and Jack…and (breathe) Walter White! Whoo! Perfect!” while he looks on vacuously and wishes for a discussion of Tom Baker’s Doctor.

Also here are Caucasian Barack Obama, George Stephanopolous, Dee Dee Meyers, Cokie Roberts, Ben Bradlee and the bouncer from Jerry Springer. All are (heavily) armed.

Going to meetings tomorrow. Off the rail grid. See you Wednesday.