Tag Archives: Harvey Keitel

Monday, September 29, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago



Good afternoon.

I’m on the 3:58PM out of the City.

Harvey Keitel sat across from me in the choice jump seat. He faces the path of travel. I am looking at the crowd. Though average height, about 5′-9″ or so, Harvey crouches when he sits. Gunmetal black button down shirt, jet black slacks. Black shoes. Very Monday meetings looking. He is yawning, which is horribly contagious, as I start to as well. Our man just called someone on his iCrackerBot and, how about that!, he has a Bronx drawl to his intonation, harkening back to a scene from “Serpico”.

Also here is Clive Owen, in his usual stance of being aurally and visually attached to his iCrackerBot. I am hoping he is watching episodes of Doctor Who to see if he can grab a bit part on the popular Science Fiction program. Perhaps he will guest star as a Cyberman with some wit, or a Sontaran on a diet regimen?

There is a thirty something brunette with early Courtney Cox hairdo, who reminds me of Shirley MacLane, especially around the nose and mouth. She’s not necessarily stunning,  it there is a quiet strength a out here that is alluring. Though, she could stand well to smile.

Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here. He is not as animated as usual because a heavy set Alice the Housekeeper looking woman sat next to him, encroaching into his space.  He fitfully, eyes closed, EFT hand holding his bead in frustration, holds back the ongoing inner debate about ISiL vs ISIS, Salutegate, and Boobs on the Ground. Its hard to watch him struggle.

Also here are Pia Zadora, General Anwar Sadat, Ed Harris, and a shorter haired Sarah Silverman. All are armed.

Happy Monday. Safe Travels.

Monday, September 15, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago



Good afternoon.
I’m on the 3:58PM out of the City.

Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here. He is frustrated about something. He just went into a silent tirade. I can’t quite make out what’s bothering him, but it is either the recent half-measures proposed by the POTUS about ISIL in Iraq, or he is reenacting a particularly animated breakup with an office romance that happened in 1983.

He seems to be lecturing his window mirror image about how the Unites States has behaved poorly over the last decade or more, making either too rash or too timid decisions about foreign policy and US interests throughout the world.

Or, he seems to be arguing with Uniqua about a reckless dalliance with a bisexual cabaret dancer in 1983, at a time where everyone in the office pool is noticing that they are acting more and more like a married couple every day, but that Uniqua’s family, former Civil Rights activists and Black Power advocates, would not be pleased to have her bring him, a young baseball player looking pasty faced, back to Greensville, Alabama for Thanksgiving.

He stares out into the green-gray haze of the afternoon sky, through the triple glazed safety windows, reminiscing about the halcyon days of the Reagan Administration.

Three Desi IT fellows decided that they felt most comfortable. They are comparing breakfast bunch places in the Western Suburbs. One fellow is the “foodie”; the other two are misers. One goes to the nicer places for the experience. The other two are trying to get the most for their money. My wife would love this conversation. I stay quiet, with headphones in my head.

Also here are Jeffrey Dahmer, Clive Owen, Katey Segal, Will Farrell, and Harvey Keitel. The are armed.

Happy Monday. Safe travels.

Thursday, September 4, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago




Good afternoon.

I’m on the 3:58PM out of the City. I have decided to re-inhabit the first car, behind the engine, and hang with my favorite co-commuters.

Unfortunately, my absolute favorite spot is being occupied by a sleeping Vince Vaughn looking, drunk, thirty something fellow. He sleeps with his left hand tucked far into his pant waist. Far far into is pant waist. Now, I am unsure if his drab green, loosely fitting pocketed T-shirt was originally white. His not-hip, scruffy, un-jump-worthy, barely AirGazan (TM) gym shoes add an overall effect of high-functioning seat usurper.

I’m really not supposed to be on this train. I got caught up finishing off work I didn’t want to do. Some of it my boss tried to do, but couldn’t complete it in part because he recognizes that I have better language skills for official letter.

I give good …. diplomacy.

On Thursday’s I try to get on the 3:18PM because I have to get home and take my children to after-school math club. The club/tutoring is about twelve miles (~20km) from my house – all local traffic – about a forty five minute drive. We have to get there at 6:00PM. Getting home early gives me a chance to wash up, change into comfy clothing, and otherwise prepare for parenting after being in business mode.

That didn’t happen today. The curve ball in the game of day-to-day living. The good news is that, after chatting with my wife, she said she called the tutor and rescheduled the math class due to the previous long weekend. I’m home tonight. Good.

Not as good as the stylish Chris Tucker looking fellow, who is on his cell phone and, like the fast talking comedic actor, has not stop talking on his iCrackerBot since the train cleared the station.

He is a property manager for a large property development group, in charge of residential clients in low-to-mid level housing. He is chatting with a coworker or a colleague about Section 8 housing, a lapsed renter and what to do next. He may be a lawyer. After discussing the business issue, he goes back to chatting, incessantly, about a wedding he is attending and the drama happening around and about him.

I am sitting such that there are at least four or five sleeping heads blocking my view of Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde. This annoys me to no end.

Octomom is here. She is seated across from Chris Tucker and is seated next to an attractive, Laura Kightlinger looking woman. Both women’s legs are crossed daintily. Very “Real Housewives of the Western Suburbs” potential here. Lots of friendly chatting, but Octomom is totally gauging Laura’s  “backstabbing friend” quotient. I am not really sure if there is a metric, but a veteran “Real Housewives….” fan knows that there’s always one Housewife, in every location, that is doing the calculating.

Also here are Kirsten Dunzt, Harry Belefonte, Will Forte, Harvey Keitel, and Chris Rock. All are armed.

Happy Thursday. Safe travels.

Thursday, January 9, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago



Good afternoon. On the displaced 3:55PM out of the City. The NFI is 1. Lots of “old coats” on.

So Robin Williams usurped my jump seat. He is a big fellow, about 6’0″ and a good 275lb or more. His scruffy beard and baggy jeans suggests he is a fellow who’s income is not dependent on attending planning meetings. I want to guess IT hardware guy or associate sound mixer. But since he was providing financial advise to Chelsea Clinton, I’m thinking he’s a recently enrolled non-traditional graduate student. In any case, the bastard is in my seat, dammit!

Well, I shouldn’t be so indignant about it. I haven’t been on this train for over twelve days. I lost my throne.

Chelsea just showed up. She is looking very cute. She’s got warm leggings under a thigh-high black skirt, a comfy gray-black-charcoal sweater. Her ginger hair is just-past shoulder length. She’s got a darker voice.

Donna Noble from Season four of Doctor Who (the reboot) is here. The curvaceous redhead is bundled in a down coat and black slacks. She looks irritable, much like how viewing audiences were introduced to her. I expect her, at any moment during the trip, to yell “OI! Chelsea and Mork from Pork! Get a room!” and then go back to her (real) newspaper.

Stanley Tucci is sitting up top. The esteemed actor is on his iCrackerBot, probably taking texts from Jennifer Laurence about paparazzi and TeenBeatdown Magazine articles about Photoshop. He, ever the wise teacher and mentor from the Devil Wears Prada, councils her to continue to do whatever she is doing.

Given where I am banished to, which is the jump seat across the aisle from my usual seat, I cannot see the ongoing argument Dr. Jekyll-Hyde is having with himself about the evolving Chris Christy traffic study. As it was said yesterday on the Daily Show, there is much excitement in the Paul Ryan camp right now. I wonder how J-H is handling the conversations?

Benched War Correspondent is also here. He wanted to follow the trail of chemical weapons from Syria to the Nordic container ships waiting on the coast of Lebanon (or was it Saudi Arabia?) hoping to score his next Pulitzer by reporting on an attempted snatch-and-grab by some offshoot of AlKindaCare in Qumar. Alas he is still benched because of that little favor he helped set up with some “anonymous sources” in the USSS while POTUS was visiting Columbus. Or was it Columbia. Either way, he’s still in the doghouse for that.

Also here are Caucasian Barack Obama, Harvey Keitel, a hipster blogger, Ed O’Neill from Married With Children, and Morley Safer. All are heavily armed.

Happy Thursday. Safe travels.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago


Good afternoon. On the discombobulating 3:58PM out of the City. The NFI is already 2 and climbing.

I am a bit displaced. A bearded fellow who looks like Robin Williams from Good Will Hunting was already in my usual jump seat, also facing the fellow commuters. Unfortunately, instead of taking the opportunity to get to know the rest of the car from his vantage point, he whips out his leather-protected iReader device and proceeds to fiddle with “SuckerSmash” or “CashCrop” or “CrosswordsWithCrazies”. All of that can be easily done without sprawling oneself like a beached walrus over the seat.

Well, it’s to be expected. I haven’t been here to observe the crowd. I haven’t been on this train for over three weeks. My scent has worn off. I need to reclaim my territory – but not today. I need to train before usurping the, now slovenly and unctuous, alpha male. I’ve nothing but time.

Ooohh! The plot thickens! A ginger-headed Chelsea Clinton just sat down in front of Robin. They are …what?…bar buddies? Train mates? She is evidently a college student or grad student. He is regaling her with stories of making bruchetta for holiday guests and setting off the fire alarm.

Ah! Evidently she trusts Robin with financial matters. He sounds knowledgeable with the ways of the Greenback. She his talking about how her hubby has a life insurance policy and there’s a cash value. They start mumbling. I am bored. Perhaps she is asking with a longing gaze into his vapid, iGaming gaze? If I turned to look, it would be too obvious, so I let it go.

Jim Broadbent, the acclaimed British actor, is seated at the opposite end of the car, facing me. The thespian is adorned, modern businessman style, with a black camelhair overcoat and red scarf, smartly wrapped around his neck and chest. He is tired from a reading at the Cadillac Theater in Downtown for a short-run production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but is unlikely to get the part. Not enough southern drawl.

Also here are Dr. Jeckyll-Hyde, Caucasian Barack Obama, Harvey Keitel, Liberace, and Fred Armisen. All are armed.

More on these later. Thank you – the four of you – for waiting. I’ll keep an eye on all the favorites and new faces for 2014.

Safe travels.

Monday, December 2, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago


Good evening. On the, never duplicated, 3:58PM out of the City. The NFI is unavailable. Let’s get right to it.

Dr. Jeckyll-Hyde is in a gleeful mood. He is laughing and smiling silently, with nobody sitting next to him. He is closer than usual – one seat up due to his usual seat being occupied by Benched War Correspondent (BWC).

Dr. J-H is reading and reacting to something he’s reading. I am guessing it is his glee regarding the overall approval rating of the POTUS after the whole “you can keep your (sub-standard) insurance.” Although today’s newspapers report the supposed “night and day” transformation of the healthcare.gov website, he is noticing the third-column insight and analysis about the low favorables due to the October mess. He is quiet now.

BWC is in his hoodie. Evidently he’s been undercover, writing about the “murder capital of the US” to supplement his itch to be on the front lines during the heated debates in Afghanistan. He is looking more Senator Palpatine than Eminem. I bet he’s getting nowhere with his research. It’s a good thing he still has contacts with CPD. No. I bet he looks like a mark, looking to score some prime weed or coke. Lame.

Also here are ReRun from What’s Happening, Clive Owen from Inside Man, Harvey Keitel, and Woody Harrelson from Indecent Proposal. Everybody is armed.

Stay safe. Safe travels. Be merry. Happy Monday.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago



Good afternoon. On the most favorited 3:56PM out of the City. I am, at least, dryer than I was this morning on the Inbound.

It’s early yet. Caucasian Barack Obama is here, up top. He’s on his iCrackerBot, no doubt revisiting the updated healthcare.gov website. One or two of my conservative friends are wishing for the walls to tumble.

I don’t recall, in recent memory, the doings of a single President were so reviled by the opposition party. Even during the heady days of #43, whom nobody seems to want to talk about anymore, you didn’t have the level of bile and abject hate that I’m seeing from the conservatives. One openly said that Reagan, Romney and McCain weren’t conservative enough. What does it mean to be a Conservative anymore?

Anyway, that’s just not important right now. The compartment is getting more full. A Yeardly Smith looking woman is seated in Dr. J-H’s spot. Dr. Jeckyll-Hyde is seated next to Ms. Smith and is already talking to himself.

His far-right self is surprisingly low key, waiting for the whole deck of cards to fall down on ACA. The center-right part of his psyche isn’t saying anything, lest his best and only friend call him out as a (gasp!) Progressive or (gaspgasp!) RINO. The absolute gall of his far-right personality to call his center personality a RINO!? How could his far-right know what his right was thinking.

Heh. As I was typing, Dr. Jeckyll-Hyde asked to switch places with Yeardly Smith. They (far-right and right) are chatting away now, completely silently. They are in their zone. I can’t make out what is being said. A fellow who looks like Ralph Macchio sat in my line of sight.

A lot of dejected religious-right folk on the train looking morose over the decision by the State Legislature to recognize same-sex marriage. Too bad.

Also here are Clive Owen, Hillary Swank, Benched War Correspondent, and Harvey Keitel. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe Travels.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago



Good afternoon. On the there-but-not-there 4:20PM out of the City.

First off, I just meant the nicest young woman in a long time, who is a recent hire to my College Alma Mater. Herself an alum (alumna?), she works for the branch that organizes giving to the school. I learned a bit about “directed giving” that I didn’t know before, but that I would like to master.

I believe in team building. I do it all the time in my business. I am, in many cases, the team leader. I am more like a referee. After my experience helping to organize my college graduating class to attend Homecoming 2013, I’ve realized that a) I can easily use my disarming tenacity towards a real goal and b) I can get heretofore uninterested parties interested in the cause. This revelation came between the time I left my meeting with the Alumni Representative (who, BTW, is both extremely bright & sociable and quite attractive) and boarding the train. I want her to help me with an agenda that I have, and that I can bring my friends on board to support.

Well enough about my crazy ideas. John Cleese is here. No hat today, the Basil Faulty look-alike is dignified in his seating posture. His back is straight. His full, grey mustache is trimmed to a geometric perfection. Unfortunately, this poor fellow has no sense of dress. The almost-bright-blue windbreaker totally clashes with his canary-yellow button-down, striped collared shirt.

George Stephanopolous is here. The former Clinton White House speechwriter and ABC commentator is busily tapping on his iCrackerBot, no doubt typing up an expose about the obvious disconnect at the Chicago Public Schools with respect to closings and reorganization, especially firings, hirings, admin and governance. I look forward to the Sunday AM talkshow with Arne Duncan and CPS execs getting grilled by the “Little Greek Guy”.

Hey, its about the most segregated school system in the country. I can call him “Little”.

Also here are Dexter, the cast of Parks & Recreation, Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero, and Harvey Keitel. All are armed.

Wednesday, October 09, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting Chicago


Good afternoon. On the, strangely familiar, 3:55PM out of the City. End of Day Nine of the US Shutdown and one side is sounding sillier than the other.

You have a guy named Burr saying that not raising the Debt Ceiling isn’t a big deal. Don’t worry about it. You have Boehner and the House Republicans state that it’s POTUS’ Shutdown, when they instigated it, but instigated it after an agreement was already in place, negotiated by Harry Reid (D-Nv) and Boehner (R-OH) in June. House got a 30% Cut in Spending. Clean CR. Smooth sailing. The House Republicans changed their mind. Obamacare poisoned their thoughts, like pre-teens looking a video porn. How could Obama be so thoughtless as to run a perfectly good agreement from July 2013 with a law, that was passed in 2008, and upheld by SCOTUS? Damn you, POTUS, for poisoning a perfectly negotiated Budget Resolution with your five-year-old, pre-approved, bipartisan,  Socialist Policies! This is your fault!

Well, I digress. Two large troll looking men are sitting and chatting across the aisle and three seats back. One looks like a lawyer, the other a trader or fund manager. Fund manager is decidedly Sontaran or VladamPutin-esque. Big shouldered, bald head. They look like former high school football opponents.

There is an attractive young lady, she looks like a Selena Gomez type girl, who is on her cellular phone, chatting with her beau. Her heavily mascara-coated eyelashes are beating at various intervals that, in Morse Code, spell “Do Me Now, Big Boy”, except that its a voice conversation and not a video chat. It is likely that the beau on the other end is not conversant in Morse, or any other subtle form of communication, as Selena has stopped being coy and is explaining the concept of making reservations at the restaurant before picking her up. The fellow must have outstanding genes, and be highly pleasurable in bed, for her to be this patient with his obvious stupidity.

OK. Also here are Porkins from Red Squadron, Harvey Keitel, Clive Owen, Benched War Correspondent, and Dr. Oliver Sachs. All are armed.

Don’t let the repeated nonsense in the media distract you from the fact that there are coalitions who hate organized Government that have been voted into this Congress and they are revelling in the chaos as reasonable representatives and then vast majority look and wonder what the SOTHOROTUS is thinking.  It’ll get worse before it gets better.

In any case, Happy Wednesday. Stay Safe.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago


Good afternoon. On the, Wheezy, 3:55PM out of the City.
End of Day Eight of the US Shutdown.

My conservative FB friends have been on the defensive about the actions of their party. Some have tried to diffuse the blame of the current crisis onto the President. “Why didn’t you define ACA when we asked you to the last 35 times! We had no choice but to shutdown the Government. This is your Shutdown, BHO!” Thing is, these same folks on the web are, by and large reasonable people and realize how silly they sound defending the current position. Especially the “Constitutionalist” folk! Wow, the blowback these poor GOPers get from those damned centrist Democrats using reason and legal precedent to smack down the, God-blessed, Founding Fathered position, is disheartening. I want to give my conservative friends all a silver star for effort, a lollypop and a silk handkerchief to wipe away the delusion from their eyes.

Anyway, two hipster types are discussing the closeout some five seats back. Both have well trimmed jaw-line beards. They are laughing around each other in metrosexual politeness. They look fashionably scruffy. Both are purposely bald or closely head shaven. By the way, when did skin-headedness become mainstream cool? When I was a young man, the skin heads were the ones that, as a group, went out purposely beat up brown people. Now, they are funding and attending world music concerts. Wild!

Eric Idle just sat down. The long, lanky, late-40’s traveling consultant just sat next to me in the jumpseat and has decided to tune in and tune out with his iClipBlazeNebula device. I know that he is a traveler because he is in an academic looking greenish-grey sweater over a white T-shirt, blue jeans, beige socks, and comfortable shoes. He is wearing a lanyard with an international airline logo, which has an ID clip hanging at the vertex of then parabola holding his consultant ID and his monthly pass. This Pythonesque doppelganger has an involuntary twitch in his right eye. Or, perhaps, I’m being punked right now on candid camera.

PJ O’Rourke is here. The conservative commentator is on his iClipBlazeNebula, banging away another op-ed about the Shutdown. He looks dejected. He knows the intent is not a righteous cause but, as his more-conservative commentators have made clear, an outright intent to sabotage the ACA because of HIM – the POTUS. He is trying to be a good booster, but because he is actually reasonable, sees the folly in the act. Like the minority Senators in the US Congress.

Also here are Kelsey Grammar, Harvey Keitel, Zachary Quinto, Caucasian Barack Obama, Mike Ditka and Sir Richard Harris. All are armed.

Happy Tuesday. Stay alert. Safe travels.