Tag Archives: John Cleese

Thursday, September 18, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon.
I’m on the 3:58PM out of the City.

I think John Cleese and Merv Griffin just sat next to me in the jump seat on this crowded train home.

The Python is in full modern-day mustachio-mode, with thinking gray hair, a gray beard, button-down tightly-patterned checkered shirt on a gray background, and black slacks that are too tight in the nether regions. He is not well endowed, or because of age and inactivity,  the whole package as ascended back into his lower torso for safekeeping.

I cannot make much of Merv except for his profile. Blonde with thinning hair, blue striped button down shirt and dark navy blue pants. Big backpack. He is napping uncomfortably, in a “Thinker” pose. His wedding ring is shiny and without blemish, connoting a late marriage or more likely a second or third marriage. Merv got freckles.

Also here are Floyd Merryweather, the Lorax, Corazon Aquino, Robert Blake, and Ari Fleischer. All are armed.

Happiness to you all.
Safe travels.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good evening. On the 4:30PM out of the City. The NFI is one.

What a droll sort of day. I am quite devoid of intellectual energy. It has been siphoned from my brain through my keyboard and lost in interweb etherspace due to redundant government forms. I am spent.

Sissy Spacek is here. The well-preserved Country-Western singer and award winning actress is seated four seats back along the window. She is reading from her iCrackerBot about the trials and tribulations of young female singers in Nashville, not realizing that it’s the pilot script of the TV drama of the same name starring Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere (of Heroes fame). Her macular degenerative eyes gloss over the script, reminiscing about a happier time with Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard and and a tour bus. She shudders with satisfaction as she shuts down her vibrating device and fails asleep.

Grandma Moses is here. The 212 year old part-Cherokee part-French-Colonial elder stateswoman of a, since eradicated, Native American tribe, is busy eating “pepperoni nuggets” with her remaining molars and washing it down with whatever fire-water, which I can smell from three seats and across the aisle away, is in that beaten metal flask she takes out of her purse.

Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead 2 fame is here. Our action hero, with his roman nose and almost cubic head, is watching something on his iCrackerBot. Probably outtakes from his masterpiece performance in ED2 which, in my humble opinion, should rank (heh) at the top of anybody’s list of campy horror movies to own in ones collection.

Do we own movies anymore? Have we ceded this to NetCinema and HowNow (youknowwhatimean)? Unless I get endorsements, no corporate name will be willingly used on this blog.

Also here are John Cleese, a silly hat, Paris Hilton, Connie Chung, and a young, Pythonish Terry Gilliam. All are armed.

Happy Tuesday. Safe travels.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the there-but-not-there 4:20PM out of the City.

First off, I just meant the nicest young woman in a long time, who is a recent hire to my College Alma Mater. Herself an alum (alumna?), she works for the branch that organizes giving to the school. I learned a bit about “directed giving” that I didn’t know before, but that I would like to master.

I believe in team building. I do it all the time in my business. I am, in many cases, the team leader. I am more like a referee. After my experience helping to organize my college graduating class to attend Homecoming 2013, I’ve realized that a) I can easily use my disarming tenacity towards a real goal and b) I can get heretofore uninterested parties interested in the cause. This revelation came between the time I left my meeting with the Alumni Representative (who, BTW, is both extremely bright & sociable and quite attractive) and boarding the train. I want her to help me with an agenda that I have, and that I can bring my friends on board to support.

Well enough about my crazy ideas. John Cleese is here. No hat today, the Basil Faulty look-alike is dignified in his seating posture. His back is straight. His full, grey mustache is trimmed to a geometric perfection. Unfortunately, this poor fellow has no sense of dress. The almost-bright-blue windbreaker totally clashes with his canary-yellow button-down, striped collared shirt.

George Stephanopolous is here. The former Clinton White House speechwriter and ABC commentator is busily tapping on his iCrackerBot, no doubt typing up an expose about the obvious disconnect at the Chicago Public Schools with respect to closings and reorganization, especially firings, hirings, admin and governance. I look forward to the Sunday AM talkshow with Arne Duncan and CPS execs getting grilled by the “Little Greek Guy”.

Hey, its about the most segregated school system in the country. I can call him “Little”.

Also here are Dexter, the cast of Parks & Recreation, Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero, and Harvey Keitel. All are armed.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the, phobic?, 3:15PM out of the City.

I’ve got leaves to pick up off my lawn. Lots of them. Thankfully, I also have children who are willing and able to help. We should be finished well before sundown. But, I need to start while there’s still light out.

Enough about my landscaping issues. Joe Besser, the Fifth of the Three Stooges, is here. Bears ski cap. Black down jacket with a (gasp) Patriots logo on the right side. He noticed me noticing him. I’ve had to look away awkwardly. Yet there is a neutral smoke on his face. Does he think I find him attractive?

Well, evidently I do, so am I attracted? Or, am I just reminiscing about silly, happy times watching the Three Stooges movies on the UHF channels with my maternal grandfather and laughing so hard that both of us, much to my mother’s horror, have squashed the plate of PB&J all over the new carpet and our clothes?

Here’s a bigger question. Is he trying to resolve gender questions in his own, well-insulated head and, in my personal retrospective, am coming off as interested in him? Was this the very (misinterpreted) signal that will have him go home, break up with his on-again-off-again girlfriend and hit the Boys town bar scene, meet a butch ex-Marine bouncer that teaches Zumba at old-folks homes during the week?

Probably not. Or “doth I protest too much?” Now,  I’m just confused.

John Cleese is here. He is asleep, thinking about his early days out of Cambridge with Graham Chapman. He is recalling the excellent sketches both he and Graham wrote for David Frost, pre-Python.

Speaking of Mr. Frost, the Nixon interrogator himself is seated in the next bench over. He is seated next to a younger version of Hosini Mubarak. They have nothing to say to each other. Evidently the earlier interview was a little too button-pushy for the deposed Prime-Minister and far to staid and dry for the headlining TV interviewer.

David also noticed me pecking away as I glance over the crowd. I knew I was being obvious, but now it seems I am being too obvious. Must end the post soon

Also here are four Observers from “Fringe”, Porkins from Red Squadron, Janice Soprano, and Nat King Cole. All are armed.

Happy Friday. Safe travels.

Thursday, October 18, 2013 – Inbound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good morning. On the drizzly 7:55AM into the City. Five hours till my mini-Vacation starts.

I am visiting my Alma Mater this weekend. Looking forward to hearing from former classmates and chatting about what happened since College.

Remember the bad guy in Men In Black? Well the alien took o er some poor schmo’s body. That body is here, about six seats back. Thick neck, short cropped receding hair, big shoulders, confused look non the face. All there. I am half waiting for the fellow to eat the little blonde Mrs. Landingham (from West Wing fame) sitting in front of him.

The pretty people are boarding. I call them that because the stop just after I get on board, or just before the train goes express into the City, is a more affluent suburb, and it shows. Ryan Reynolds is sitting in the jump seat across the aisle. Grey streaks in his gelled coif, our hero is reading a book (A REAL BOOK!) with lots of words. He is wearing a windbreaker with the logo of a popular clothing company who’s logo looks a lot like a swastika now that I care to look at it.

Ed Norton from Fight Club is here. He’s listening to his iCrackerBot and contemplating the the thrill of his newfound underground endeavors. I hope he doesn’t start punching himself in the face. That’s just not right.

Also here are Ed Bundy, Leona Helmsley, a desi Wilford Bromley, Robert DeNiro and John Cleese. All are armed.

Shutdown over. Debt Crisis averted. How do we keep the children from having another tantrum? That’s the big question.

Happy Thursday. I’ll be reporting from the Amtrak train soon – where this blog all started. Has it been a year already? Time flies!

Safe travels.

June 10, 2013 – Inbound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good morning. On the 7:55AM into the City, which is a little late for me. I’ve been recovering from battling a “Honey-Do” list that includes demolishing a 4’x6’x8′ shed bolted to a a concrete pad. All evidence of this object must be removed from the backyard. I have done everything BUT the demo job. My virility has been questioned. I ignore the jabs.

Sitting, sore, in the rear-Quiet-Car, drinking coffee and observing the pool of co-commuters. Mike Singletary is here, seated across the aisle and two seats back. He looks far less intense than the All-Star Super Bowl winner in his heyday. This fellow looks to in IT or finance as a mid level operator or trader.

A young oriental woman is seated in the jump seat across from me. She is a first or second generation oriental. After politely, but with a slight Valley Girl accent, asking to sit down, she immediately opens up her black faux-leather Kate Spade bag and proceeds to finish the rouge for her face.

Dropping that, she pulls out a billfold like object which houses her mascara and a mirror and is thickening her eyelashes. The eye makeup is reminiscent of my Goth friends from HS and college, but she is wearing a what amounts to be a 50’s style sailor suit. An oriental Goth line dancer from “South Pacific”. Wild.

Also here are John Cleese, Ned Beatty, Carson Daly, a few young Republicans, Uncle Fester, and Robert Reich. All are armed.

Happy Monday. Safe Travels.

June 10, 2013 – Inbound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good morning. On the 7:55AM into the City, which is a little late for me. I’ve been recovering from battling a “Honey-Do” list that includes demolishing a 4’x6’x8′ shed bolted to a a concrete pad. All evidence of this object must be removed from the backyard. I have done everything BUT the demo job. My virility has been questioned. I ignore the jabs.

Sitting, sore, in the rear-Quiet-Car, drinking coffee and observing the pool of co-commuters. Mike Singletary is here, seated across the aisle and two seats back. He looks far less intense than the All-Star Super Bowl winner in his heyday. This fellow looks to in IT or finance as a mid level operator or trader.

A young oriental woman is seated in the jump seat across from me. She is a first or second generation oriental. After politely, but with a slight Valley Girl accent, asking to sit down, she immediately opens up her black faux-leather Kate Spade bag and proceeds to finish the rouge for her face.

Dropping that, she pulls out a billfold like object which houses her mascara and a mirror and is thickening her eyelashes. The eye makeup is reminiscent of my Goth friends from HS and college, but she is wearing a what amounts to be a 50’s style sailor suit. An oriental Goth line dancer from “South Pacific”. Wild.

Also here are John Cleese, Ned Beatty, Carson Daly, a few young Republicans, Uncle Fester, and Robert Reich. All are armed.

Happy Monday. Safe Travels.