Tag Archives: Lance Armstrong

January 28, 2015 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon. I’m on the, now legendary, 3:58PM out of the City. In my old stomping grounds – first car just behind the engine. I’m in my favorite jump seat, facing the crowd.

I got here a bit early so I could catch this seat. I’m hoping some of the old regulars will show up.

Caucasian Barack Obama is here. The young, handsome fellow is seated where I last left him, up on the second floor row of seats. His valise or backpack is on his lap. He has no earbuds on, so I am guessing he’s on his iCrackerBot, finishing off some work related correspondence. It’s possible CBO is ordering Indian food, as his doppelganger, the President of the United States, is finishing up his tour of India. It would be a happy coincidence if both got a slight bit of indigestion over some chicken tikka masala. A multiracial, international, Maalox moment.

Speaking of coincidence, my absolute favorite fellow commuter just got on the train. For those of you who have forgotten, Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here – the Joe Torre looking fellow who talks to himself on the ride home. His mouth moves, but no sound escapes him in mid-self-rant. He is currently reading a commuter newsletter put out by the rail authority.

He’s aged a bit. The hair that was once a brownish blonde is now more gray than brown. At least he still has most of his hair. I am practically unrecognizable after almost a year, with less and less on my head.

Oh. Benched War Correspondent is here. He’s casually looking over the other commuters, nodding his head in disgust. With the Coalition forces mostly out of Iraq, and the December 31 pullout of Afghanistan, BWC has be regulated to covering the pre-2016 primary pre-parties. He can’t believe that the 114th Congress got in with nothing more than 33% of the electorate voting, and GOP leaders are calling this “a referendum” or that the “American People have spoken.” No, they haven’t. It is in part due to the ennui of politics itself and the lackluster selection of representatives. BWC goes back to his novel about a a pair of unknown reporters doing the groundwork investigations that ultimately unseat a corrupt official. You know….fiction.

Dr. Michiu Kaku of CUNY is here, reviewing a manuscript about global warming data. As expected, and accounting for every known control and theoretical outcome, and using repeated trials by different laboratories and repeatable model structures, the compilation of amassed knowledge points to the overconsumption of resources by humans as the probable cause for recent increases in atmospheric CO2 levels. Unfortunately, there are too many syllables in that last sentence for policy makers and wonks to finally understand that this can cannot and should not be kicked down to the next congress/president/poobah. He is banging on the laptop, trying to rewrite his byline, in the hopes that Sen. John Thune (R-SC), Rep. Lamar  Smith (R-Tx), and their respective staff will learn something about what’s happening in the nonpolitical world around them.

Oh. Here we go. Dr. J-H has finished reading his newsletter, and after staring out the window, decides to discuss the recent gathering of GOP nominees in Iowa earlier this week. His far-right persona can’t say enough about former half-Governor Sarah Palin, and how she is the perfect candidate to go up against Hillary Clinton. He doesn’t care about what the leftist media and the “supposed far-rightish Fox News” thinks of Sarah Palin’s chances, he got exact what she was talking about when she was on that podium on Saturday last. He stops, mid rant, and smiles. I do believe his far-right personality has a crush on the Woman of Wasilla.

His center right personality kicks in, just as the train pulls into the first stop. “Nonsense”, mouths this side of him. Who can be sure of a Hillary win? The current President won, twice! The first time, he beat a younger Hillary! What’s to say another (heh) dark horse doesn’t swoop in to run. How about Cory Booker? What if Condi Rice switches sides? We can’t call her on Gulf War 2, cause we supported that conflict!

He stops. He’s tired.

Also here are Christof Waltz, Louis CK, and Lance Armstrong. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

January 28, 2015 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon. I’m on the, now legendary, 3:58PM out of the City. In my old stomping grounds – first car just behind the engine. I’m in my favorite jump seat, facing the crowd.

I got here a bit early so I could catch this seat. I’m hoping some of the old regulars will show up.

Caucasian Barack Obama is here. The young, handsome fellow is seated where I last left him, up on the second floor row of seats. His valise or backpack is on his lap. He has no earbuds on, so I am guessing he’s on his iCrackerBot, finishing off some work related correspondence. It’s possible CBO is ordering Indian food, as his doppelganger, the President of the United States, is finishing up his tour of India. It would be a happy coincidence if both got a slight bit of indigestion over some chicken tikka masala. A multiracial, international, Maalox moment.

Speaking of coincidence, my absolute favorite fellow commuter just got on the train. For those of you who have forgotten, Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here – the Joe Torre looking fellow who talks to himself on the ride home. His mouth moves, but no sound escapes him in mid-self-rant. He is currently reading a commuter newsletter put out by the rail authority.

He’s aged a bit. The hair that was once a brownish blonde is now more gray than brown. At least he still has most of his hair. I am practically unrecognizable after almost a year, with less and less on my head.

Oh. Benched War Correspondent is here. He’s casually looking over the other commuters, nodding his head in disgust. With the Coalition forces mostly out of Iraq, and the December 31 pullout of Afghanistan, BWC has be regulated to covering the pre-2016 primary pre-parties. He can’t believe that the 114th Congress got in with nothing more than 33% of the electorate voting, and GOP leaders are calling this “a referendum” or that the “American People have spoken.” No, they haven’t. It is in part due to the ennui of politics itself and the lackluster selection of representatives. BWC goes back to his novel about a a pair of unknown reporters doing the groundwork investigations that ultimately unseat a corrupt official. You know….fiction.

Dr. Michiu Kaku of CUNY is here, reviewing a manuscript about global warming data. As expected, and accounting for every known control and theoretical outcome, and using repeated trials by different laboratories and repeatable model structures, the compilation of amassed knowledge points to the overconsumption of resources by humans as the probable cause for recent increases in atmospheric CO2 levels. Unfortunately, there are too many syllables in that last sentence for policy makers and wonks to finally understand that this can cannot and should not be kicked down to the next congress/president/poobah. He is banging on the laptop, trying to rewrite his byline, in the hopes that Sen. John Thune (R-SC), Rep. Lamar  Smith (R-Tx), and their respective staff will learn something about what’s happening in the nonpolitical world around them.

Oh. Here we go. Dr. J-H has finished reading his newsletter, and after staring out the window, decides to discuss the recent gathering of GOP nominees in Iowa earlier this week. His far-right persona can’t say enough about former half-Governor Sarah Palin, and how she is the perfect candidate to go up against Hillary Clinton. He doesn’t care about what the leftist media and the “supposed far-rightish Fox News” thinks of Sarah Palin’s chances, he got exact what she was talking about when she was on that podium on Saturday last. He stops, mid rant, and smiles. I do believe his far-right personality has a crush on the Woman of Wasilla.

His center right personality kicks in, just as the train pulls into the first stop. “Nonsense”, mouths this side of him. Who can be sure of a Hillary win? The current President won, twice! The first time, he beat a younger Hillary! What’s to say another (heh) dark horse doesn’t swoop in to run. How about Cory Booker? What if Condi Rice switches sides? We can’t call her on Gulf War 2, cause we supported that conflict!

He stops. He’s tired.

Also here are Christof Waltz, Louis CK, and Lance Armstrong. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

Thursday, May 1, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good evening.

On the 3:58PM out of the City.

I’m in a good mood. Tomorrow will be a light day. I get to spend money on technology! WoooHooo!

But today, I’m in the fourth car from the front. A seedy looking Jim Carey with a shaved head is reading the complete transcription of Donald Sterling’s recorded conversations and is agreeing with every thing the aging swinger was saying. Wife swap? Absolutely! No colored folk in public? Exactly? Sleep with black men? (Now he looks a little discomfited). His large workbooted feet kick out in neurotic reaction to the passivity with which Sterling let his mistress (and presumably ex wife and other mistresses heretofore unrecorded) conduct themselves. His large, widow-peaked brow is bright red with revelation and contempt. You’ve shown your race card, Sterling! For the love of all that is trapped in every repressed white man, let us be sexist as well as racist!” His prepubescent chin-tee (no comparison to our bald friend Chintee, who is hip, urban, womanophyllic, and less uptight) glistens with man-sweat. He violently shuts down his browser, puts in his ear buds, and listens to Rush Limbaugh podcasts about the Clintons.

Also here are Kristen Bell, Harold Ramis, Mama Cass, Kim Basinger, and Lance Armstrong. All are armed.

Sorry this one was so short. Voyeur Interrupted.

Happy Thursday. Safe travels.

Friday, February 14, 2014 – Homeward Bound – Valentine’s Day – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon. On the unloved 2:30PM out of the City. The NFI is one.

I thought, since I would be home early, I’d find my favorite spot in the front car, with my back to the engine. So here I am. Really not the happiest group of commuters this afternoon. It’s Friday. It’s the day to fully express your affection for whomever. Or, reclaim an understanding of oneself. Yet I see a general… Meh… with this group.

For example, the fellow in front of me, one seat over, looks like Robert Blake. The widower and once suspect in the death of his wife, and former 70’s TV dick, is a total frowny face. Evidently he received no love from a girlfriend, his mom, a sister, a boyfriend, or anybody wishing him a Happy Valentine’s Day. Not even a  broadcast e-mail from the office pool, the desk Sargent, his CO, or the nice bail bonds folk at County lockup. Nobody loves this guy. He’s put his headphones on and is now listening to dirge music, or early Sinnead O’Connor.

I am sorry for the short post. I am getting phone calls again from headhunters and clients. I left early so I can take my children to a thing and then go home and watch movies with the missus. I was quite efficient this week!

Also here are Ira Glass, Ice T, Alex P. Keaton, Mr. Miyagi, and Lance Armstrong. All are armed.

Happiness to you. Spring is almost here. Snuggle. Safe travels.

Wednesday October 2, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the, for want of severing a connection, 5:00PM express out of the City.

End of Day Two of the Shutdown to Save Us from Health, Kenyan style. Why doesn’t the Republican Majority just pass a CR without the ACA tweaks? In other words, thank the 45-50 Congresscritters for their efforts to date to bring down Obamacare. Well played. Excellent effort. Now, sit down and shut up. We’re calling Nancy Pelosi and finish this right here.

Why? Because John Boehner wants the SOTHORUS post more than he wants to keep the US functional, it seems. Without the ACA tweaks added by the Tea Baggers, the CR would pass clean. Shutdown averted. GOP would probably keep the Orangeman from Ohio as the Big Boss, but his 113 will not go well. 2014 looks fun already. Redistricting be damned.

Enough about a dysfunctional democracy. I’m on the Desi Express. If I were to claim, right now, to be a DHS/INS agent and ask to see papers, 100% of the immediate crowd would look at me funny. 50% of the crowd would be calling 911 – these would be the “native” suburbanites. The rest would dutifully pull out VISA cards, Passports, Green Cards, pictures of children, marriage certificates, and recommendations from previous employers.

Do you folks remember, almost a year ago, I mentioned a Desi fellow who always read self-help and self-improvement books, both by Western and Eastern authors? Hare Krishna consciousness type? No ponytail? He’s sitting next to me. He’s talking to his friend in a language I don’t quite understand, but the gist of it is that he is explaining passionately about the wonders of tapping into the Kundalini, or that he uses the word ‘kundalini’ as the backdoor (heh) password to get into the primary SQL database when managing the Oracle core shell for the too-big-too-fail trading firm.

The Desi fellow sitting in front of me, in the jump seat next to the window facing the direction of travel, looks eerily like a young Albert Einstein. His hair, more voluminous than mine, looks like dark thin spaghetti randomly placed about his head. To be fair, there is definition. He has the beginnings of a receding hairline, with two spikes above each temple penetrating the dark mass of curls. The mustache is certainly an homage to Uncle Al. Out Desi physicists facial hair, much like my own, is heavily peppered with shocks of silver hair. He is a handsome fellow.

Also here are a young Prince (from Purple Rain), Lance Armstrong, four GOP House members on vacation, lots of Bollywood Extras, and the whole office staff of the Chicago Office of the US-FDA. All are armed.

Happy Shutdown to you. Taste your meat before serving it to your kids. Safe Travels.

August 27, 2013 – Inbound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good morning. I’m on the 7:20AM into the City. A crowded platform availed me to the fifth car from the engine. In my continued attempt to understand my fellow passengers throughout the train, I have made it a point to sit in different cars.

Since this is a talking car, I am privy to a conversation between Lance Armstrong, Timothy Leary, and Joachim Phoenix. Lance and his wife are excited that their youngest is in middle school and that all of their kids are going to a private, religious school. He is a church elder, his wife is a Parent Volunteer and member of the laity. They were in the teacher contract negotiations. The three men are going into war stories of parent-teacher-admin conversations. Timothy becomes the old chestnut of “substitute got fired and banned because s/he had the children read from a secular book, “Of Mice and Men” or “Catcher in the Rye” or something. Joachim is talking about how school administrators force Parents to ask the questions about management of the school instead of being transparent. Riveting conversation.

Jimmy Durante is reading the Wall Street Journal. Today’s headline is about “Biggest Changes in a Decade Greet Students in Bathroom”. He is sitting next to an elvish woman, asleep, with academic looking glasses. She is wearing a white blouse and a corporate skirt-suit thing that was more fashionable during the Hillary as FLOTUS days.

Also here are FLOTUS Hillary Clinton (chewing gum), Ray Walston, a very handsome young Vietnamese gentleman, and Scott Caan. All are armed.

Happy Tuesday, safe travels.

July 1, 2013 – Inbound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good morning. On the 7:50AM into the City. I just got back from a wonderful family gathering in Columbus, OH. It seems that there are some family fans of this blog who were generally curious about what I am doing. I can’t deny that some of the curiosity was concern for my mental health and obvious (and alarming) skill for public voyeurism.

That being said, Ned Beatty is back and looking buffed as ever. He looks like a boxer. He’s got on a grey nondescript t-shirt, blue jeans and worn out grey-black sneakers. His backpack is black. The mans hair is cropped military short and has taken on an almost orange-heather like hue from the summer sun. He is friendly and cordial, but otherwise could hide in plain sight.

Leonard Maltin, the composer and musical darling of the Hollywood social set, is sitting five seats back. The bearded gentleman is on his iCrackerbot, with headphones, using a downloaded app to mix in samples of Stravinsky, Michael Bolton, The Carpenters and Captain & Tennille with a distinct funk shuffle beat for Barbara Streisand to record for her next album. Good luck with that Leonard!

Tyler Perry is sitting one seat up and against the window from Leonard. The handsome, dark chocolate colored and five-o-clock shadowed fellow is on his eReader device, looking through Greek and Roman mythology for more story ideas to embroil his signature character, Medea, around so Medea can incorporate her Baptist, reverential and Southern African-American wisdom and wit to resolve the conflict. What better place to incorporate a strongly worded “Chil’ PLEASE!” than in the middle of a Romeo and Juliet type story?

Also to be mentioned are Penny Pritzker, Ban Ki Moon, Lance Armstrong, and Ken Watanabe. All are armed.

Happy Monday. Safe travels.