Good morning. On the, talking turkey, 10:30AM into the City.
What a difference an hour makes! I have to go into the City for work. I wanted to take a leisurely drive to see family on the East Coast. Instead, I’m on the inbound all-stop train that picks up the visitors, shoppers, travelers and suburban socialites who are spending a day in the big City.
Now, I have been known to belabor a point every now and again, but the Baby Boomers Ann Romney look alike sitting in the opposite jump seat, has been telling stories about lost items for the last 15 minutes. It seems the five women – three in the other jump seat and the two younger women in front of me – are together, and Barbie – the heavy set brunette sitting next to ‘Ann’ – misplaced her ticket. After much mayhem, it turns out that the ticket was stuck in the folds of sleeve of her faux-wool, Nordstrom Outlet sweater. Whew! This incident evoked a litany of lost item stories from ‘Ann’.
Now the gang of five are chatting about stores to visit, sizes to look for, and dealsdealsdeals galore! Black Friday is battered about. Different colored jeans, matching boots, styles of blouses, and junk food to eat. This gaggle of women intend to singlehandedly jumpstart the Downtown retail district in one afternoon.
Oh no. Ann is now listing off the litany of men she’s dated since 1973, including the disparity of ages, before she met ‘Rich’, her soon to be cash-poor soulmate. The two younger women are discussing the number of ‘duckface’ photos they personally have posted their respective FB pages. I believe they are trying and failing, to ignore the dirty little secrets coming from the other group.
A thinner, taller, darker Steven Spielberg is here, promoting the Lincoln movie to the three people around him. He seems to be also defending the Saving Private Ryan ending and discussing the whole Temple of Doom kerfuffle with the Hindu family in the next seat up.
Dame Judy Dench, reprising her role as ‘M’ is training her grandchildren to be ’00’ agents. The intrepid first graders are running back and forth on the upper deck, bumping into impatient but tolerating co-passengers, as she stoically gives orders to the little tornados.
So, this being an all-stop train, I have a steady stream of suburban sprawlers to observe. Freddy Prinze, Sr., of ‘Chico and the Man’ fame, is here and has the same look, minus the mini-afro, as he ponders his immigration status. He looks confident that he will be able to live in the U.S. and continue to steal the high paying Chic Fil’a register clerk job from the lazy gringo. Behind him sits the sole African American hooded male, hood up, looking strong and quiet. He reminds me of Quest Love of the Roots. There is a one-seat radius around Quest Love where no Baby Boomed McMansionite sits.
Also here and requiring recognition are Andy Griffith, an old Art Carney, Abe Vigoda, Gen. Norman Schwartzkoff, Felicia Rashod (sleeping), Kal Penn of Harold & Kumar fame, and Alice from the Brady Bunch.
Right. That’s it for now.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve-day to you. Safe Travels.
#trainspotting#Chicago 